batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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