fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
