how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize