also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
