You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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