his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
