that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
