I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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