i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
