ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
