didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
