I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
