My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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