Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
