I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
