remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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