everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
