Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize