just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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