I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
