So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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