They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
