brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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