My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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