pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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