bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
