I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
