do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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