Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize