a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
