I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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