i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize