he wants to bone in the snuggie
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
A bitchslap is in order.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
