yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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