Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
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Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
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I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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