And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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