Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
