how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
