I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
