I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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