Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
