Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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