true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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