They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
