i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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