So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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