just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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