420 ftw
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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