someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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