Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
