I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
