So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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