I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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