Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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