So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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