ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize